she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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