Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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