Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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