Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
