please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize