i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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