So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
