And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize