if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
