i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
