When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize