you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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