He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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