Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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