Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
