Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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