i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just threw up on my dentist
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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