I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
