I wish my penis had an off switch
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize