i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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