just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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