You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
