Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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