Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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