i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
