very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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