If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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