If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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