Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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