this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
