now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
