Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
