I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
