idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
