Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
