Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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