Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
