Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
