you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
