how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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