Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize