My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
