Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
