I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do herpes really smell.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
