let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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