I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
being pregnant is like rehab
I need a burrito and a hug.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
