ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
