Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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