I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
