I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
