a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
