Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
