Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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