Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
