I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well I just put wine in my tea
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
