why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
