It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
